I just had a dream. I was walking back toward my car, and I was upset how far it was. All of a sudden an old, large pickup truck rumbles up behind and startles me with a blast of its horn. I turn around and see three, smiling kids, laughing at my surprise: Zay driving, Lev in the middle and Jaal at the end. I am so glad to see them all! I know this is the "phantom" Lev I have seen in my dreams so often before. I am happy to see that phantom Lev has hung in through the summer, so Zay could come out and visit him. At some point we see Rebecca with some friends and we all get out to talk. I am getting concerned that I am losing touch with reality, since I know Lev has died yet he is right hear with us. I walk toward Lev and I reach out to touch him, and suddenly I am touching Jaal. Thinking I just had a moment of confusion, I walk toward Lev again. Rebecca and Jaal see what I am doing and subtly try to stop me, but I reach out for Lev again anyway, and once again I am touching Jaal's shoulder. He turns around with a little smile on his face, and I ask him with a little annoyance if he is pretending to be Lev. He and Rebecca look slightly guilty but also amused at being caught. "Maybe…" Jaal says. I realize that they were doing it to make me happy. And it did.
How nice it is to hear Lev's voice and see his smiling face, and how cruel and sad it is to wake up knowing I will never see him again.
