April 27, 2011

My life is a nightmare

I had a nightmare on Monday that I have been thinking about all week. Its images pass though my mind frequently, and as scary as it was, I so wish that it were real. Maybe writing about it will help me to let it go.

In the dream Lev was in a coma, in a hospital bed similar to the one where he died in Banff. This one somehow had our house as the upstairs. I was talking to him, trying to convince him to come out of it. Jaal was in the room, standing back, and Tony was upstairs. I kept begging him to wake up, offering ice cream sundaes, boxing together, but it wasn't working and I was starting to despair. Then, he opened his eyes and started to come to. I told Jaal to go get Tony as I knew it might not last long. I was so scared he wouldn't make it, but it looked like he would.

Then, I woke up, my heart racing. I was so glad Lev had survived.

Then reality set in, and I realized that the bad dream was actually a good dream, and it is my life that is the nightmare.