I have felt more despair in the last two days than I have felt in quite a while.
A painting, a sweatshirt, an uneaten pancake are all vivid, tangible reminders of the fact that Lev is still gone.
Not coming back,
I am reminded of a children's story about lifetimes that I read to kids when their pet died.
Everything has a lifetime- trees, ants, cats, people.
Sometimes it is cut short, by an accident or illness.
But that is its lifetime.
Lev was with us just ten days short of fifteen years.
I am having the hardest time recognizing that that was his lifetime.
I hope that one day I can appreciate those years without sadness, regret, anger, frustration, jealousy, or despair.
maybe the longing and love will remain
the hope has ended for Lev
Jaal left today, too, to head back to college
Rebecca
