Below are two quotes from the second article, and I put the links below. It was from an NPR segment.
These stories obviously bring tears to my eyes, but what is most striking is how the grief from the loss of a child seems so similar from person to person, especially if they are in the ages of 13-25. The other thing that I always note is how they say the grief never ends. I can imagine that. I'm not sure how we would ever get back to who we were. We are different now, already, at only eight weeks since Lev's sudden death.
I'd like to be the same for Jaal. In one of the books I read it did say that siblings have double losses. They lose their sibling and the parents that they knew. We try to hold it together for Jaal. And, seeing him helps us to hold it together. I am often overcome with such joy, such thankfulness when I see him. It's like a gift. I don't expect us to be alive, and there he is, living, breathing, eating. He's gotten way more hugs from me than he ever wanted, and he laughs at my trying to feed him again and again. But, we try to do normal things together too, so he hasn't lost us completely. Yesterday, he was building a woodshed with Uncle John, and I was so satisfied to just sit there at the picnic table and watch him on the little roof hammering nails. He was so alive, so competent. Being alive is not something I expect anymore. My world view has changed.
Jaal slept over at a friend's house last night. I expect him home soon. I do expect him to survive the night and the drive home, I do, I hope for it. But, I will be relieved when he walks in the door, and I will give him a hug, and offer him food.
"her grief was profound and all-encompassing, it was forever."
"I mean, when your child is alive, you don't think of him 24 hours a day. But when he's gone, that's the only thing that's on your mind. And then you walk around and you see maybe someone wearing a cap that reminds you of your son, and you quickly turn — maybe that's him. Your mind plays so many tricks because it's so hard to really understand the depth of what has happened to you."
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=121403275&ps=rs
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128977776
