Takes my Breath Away

Yesterday I had a new emotion. I had the urge to finally watch the DVD I found in Lev's room. It was from the skit he and his classmates made for a school project. There were four students in the group, and one was missing for a month due to a custody issue, and one was sick. So, it was just Lev and Annie and their moms helping them create a movie that was due in two days. I did the filming. I wanted to hear Lev's voice so badly, and see him moving, so I went up to watch the video.

As I opened the door to Lev's room, I was awash with longing. I've been in his room a few times a week for the last eight weeks, but this was new. It was like a wind-gust of grief.
I gasped, as it literally knocked the wind out of me, and then collapsed crying on his bed.

I cried for about ten minutes and talked to myself, asking why he had to go so soon.
Then, I got the DVD and put it in Jaal's computer. I cried at first, and then I just remembered the afternoon when we filmed it, and it brought back good memories of that day, being with Lev, driving up there to her house, helping them film it. Unfortunately, Lev had taken on Annie's mom's British accent for the play, so it wasn't quite his regular voice — but very Lev.

Someday Tony will be ready to watch it. Then we'll post it on you-tube if we can.
But, will it bring him back?