Name it to Tame it

Something I have been working on is sometimes called, "Name it to Tame it," or verbalizing one's emotions. It can be used with little kids, to teach them the words to describe their feelings, and it helps them calm down and learn to empathize. Or in working with grief it is useful in recognizing the feelings, without getting overwhelmed by the emotions. Sometimes I know what triggers a wave of grief, like seeing something of Lev's, hearing a specific song, or seeing someone with similar hair. Other times it just flows over me like a wave and I'm not sure why. That's not as common, as I can usually figure out what the trigger was. Sometimes a bit of sunshine will remind me of the warm days after he died, for example. When the wave of grief hits, I am trying to experience it, and then let it continue by, like standing on the side of a roaring river. Saying to myself, "Ugh, that really hurts. I really miss him. This is hard." And then, let it go. Breathe deep and know that it hurts because I love him. If I sit with the emotion for a while it just makes me wish it were all over and I didn't have to live with the pain any more. So I can't let it sit; I need to let it go, let it flow over me and keep on going. I do think I'm getting better at it. Being with a baby keeps me in the here and now and encourages me to recognize the grief quickly, in little bits, and let it flow, knowing it is here because he was important.