Emotional constipation

For the past few weeks, I have been emotionally constipated. I have felt deep and profound sadness about Lev's death, and tears have welled up, but I have not cried. I want to, but I cannot. The sadness inside of me grows and grows, so big I don't see how I can let it out without drowning in it. I wonder if this is what makes people turn cold and pent up and rotten inside.