When meeting new people there is the a point in the conversation when someone asks you if you have kids. I experience anxiety leading up to that moment. I can usually tell when it's coming, so I have tried heading it off by bringing it up myself, or when it does come up thank them for asking so they don't feel awkward. Neither method works. Most people feel so awkward afterwards that they leave the conversation shortly thereafter. The rare person has something kind and insightful to say, but it is just too personal of a topic to really get into with a stranger at a party. I don't really see a good solution.
I have tried avoiding the topic or leaving the conversation if it's heading in that direction. At grief group everyone agreed how hard it was to meet new people but no one had an answer. One person tried lying, saying he was the age he would be, in college, etc. But it didn't work out that well as they asked his major and other details.
At the last party I thought i was doing well but ended up crying in the bathroom and making a quick departure with an elevated heart rate and total stress response.
So, I think I'll hang out with old friends for a while.
Rebecca
