I have a new affinity for crows. The day after Lev died, we had to drive back past the campground we stayed at. We decided to go back to our site, to think about Lev and to leave a little rock pile in tribute. When we got there, someone had left some food on the picnic table, and a crow was sitting there pecking at it. We were both struck by the scene, and felt that in some way perhaps the crow had Lev's spirit in him, and was there to say goodbye to us.
It would be fitting if Lev's animal familiar was the crow. He was clever like a crow, and certainly liked to cackle in delight, especially at another's mild misfortunes.
I have since been on the lookout for crows. Sometimes one perches quite close to me, being oddly comfortable in my presence. I imagine that the crow is Lev coming to say hello and be with me for a while, and this gives me some comfort.
Today we were hiking through the woods with our dog, and a crow perched right near us. The dog tried to pounce on it, but the crow just moved up a few branches to avoid her, but did not fly away. It remained near us, patiently watching us. I stared at the crow for a long while. Finally the other members of its flock left, and it felt compelled to follow them. As it flew away I was overwhelmed with sadness, I felt so abandoned and alone.
I miss Lev terribly. I am glad the crows can give me some relief from that.
