There has been a lot of rain lately, and the creek is running strong
and clear. Lev spent a lot of time trying to dam it up in order to
cross it on the way home from school. It was an ongoing battle between
him and the creek, and I would like to think that both valued the
interaction. Lev touched all of our lives. Like the creek, our lives
flow onwards, but we carry the love and memories of Lev with us.
In that moment I could appreciate that Lev was a part of our life, and
that I was happy to have had any time with him here on this planet.
One might say I was at peace with what happened to him and to us.
These moments don't tend to last long, but I value them tremendously.
The feeling is neither grief nor denial, but rather a place in between
that I did not know existed, where suffering and joy are just parts of
a whole, where I can fully feel my love for Lev without being drowned
in sorrow. It is true reality, unadultered and unpoisoned. I will
strive to arrive there whenever I can.
