No day has gone by that I have not thought about Lev. I miss talking to him over the phone and having him over in the summer. I remember that last summer the one thing I was really looking forward to him coming. I was so excited I made a folder on Microsoft Word that were ideas of what to do when he was here, now I have no idea what to do with it. Right now it is just sitting on the computer half-finished.

School started and it was hard to get through the basic routine of the day. At six thirty pm. (around the time when I would call him or vice versa) I was devastated, and still am every day at that time. One of the hardest things about school is how little it has changed when I have changed so profoudly. My friends are the same old people unnaffected by this thing that has changed me utterly and completly. I sit there and try to act normal while they are completely unaware of the tremendous sadness that is lurking under the surface of normality.