The first day of school. All is ready with schedules, class placements, tables, desks, recess duties, textbooks. Put on your new clothes and get going for a new year. But how can I enter a new school year without Lev, when he doesn't have the chance. It seems so unfair to me, to Tony, to Jaal, to Lev.
I think that Jaal's counselor was right, that it's our ability to support each other, the three of us, that lets us deal with this as well as we have. But how can anyone deal with the death of a child well? I miss him so much and don't want to get ready for school without him.
Today I will take Jaal with me to sell agendas at school. I just don't want to go alone. I always went to school with Lev, almost every school day for the last ten years.
I wasn't ready for this. Tony said he would get up with me in the mornings, which might help. But maybe being sad and crying in the mornings is okay. I went to bed at eleven, and woke up at four thirty, finally getting up at six and deciding to do yoga. Now it's time to get ready. Off I go. Life keeps chugging along.
I think that Jaal's counselor was right, that it's our ability to support each other, the three of us, that lets us deal with this as well as we have. But how can anyone deal with the death of a child well? I miss him so much and don't want to get ready for school without him.
Today I will take Jaal with me to sell agendas at school. I just don't want to go alone. I always went to school with Lev, almost every school day for the last ten years.
I wasn't ready for this. Tony said he would get up with me in the mornings, which might help. But maybe being sad and crying in the mornings is okay. I went to bed at eleven, and woke up at four thirty, finally getting up at six and deciding to do yoga. Now it's time to get ready. Off I go. Life keeps chugging along.
