Waiting for the baby makes it worse. I find myself spending more time in guilt, remorse, and trauma but really I just miss him and I know the baby won't bring him back.
I miss being happy. Maybe that will get better. Jaal makes me happy. It's such a relief to see him and know that he's real. I'm hoping it will be the same with the little one, instead of just this mysterious thing moving around in my belly.
