Just thoughts in my head
Phrases repeating
not ready to say goodbye
grey- the color of the death of love
The weather has been perfect:
grey
cold
dismal
oppressive
somehow soothing
to match my mood
packing
a life that has ended
I remember last July
when the hot sun mocked us
Now the clouds and slugs
are our companions
I awaken with the dawn
at 4:30
the hour of death
destruction
I hate waking up
in the summer
4:30
when it is just beginning to get light
I am reminded of that morning
Lev's shallow breathing
grasping my thumb
sleeping
seizing
Light filters in
I am reminded of reality
Every night I sleep
wishing to sleep past the dawn
An extra quilt covers the window
Hoping to block the dawn
Light creeps in
I failed today
Awake before the train
Lev's room is packed
vacuumed
gone
Final clean up
salubrious vocabulary card
an old sock
a leather strap
a nerf dart
a sharp rock
spare change
Remnants remain
spilled drink in his loft
a hole in the door he covered with a poster
an anarchy symbol etched into the window sill
a sword symbol scraped into the wall
the view out the window remains the same
Rebecca
