Still Beats. It has a compilation of information from a variety of books. I will include some insights from it soon.
The one thing I would like to make clear, and I'm not sure quite how, is that I want to talk about Lev. I want to hear stories, tell stories, and talk about how much it sucks that he is not here.
Most people are not comfortable talking about it, even if I start the conversations, it just falls dead. Some have said they don't want to make me sad, but it is hard to imagine it making me sadder. There is nothing anyone is going to say that will make me feel worse, but not talking about him does make me feel worse. It feels like others have forgotten him already, although I know it's not true.
The only thing people can do to make me feel better is to tell me a Lev story, that I truly treasure.
It is July 1st. This month will be a hard one, maybe I will journal a lot.
We will be packing and moving. We rented our house, and will move to Seattle.
Lev's stuff is everywhere. It all is full of memories, but I am ready to confront that reality.
I believe it will be hard, but it is what we need to do.
July 9th will be the anniversary of that terrible morning, of his death. some friends will stop by that afternoon for some type of gathering around 2. July 19th would have been his 16th birthday. He was looking forward to driving, but told me that he probably wouldn't be a very responsible driver and that I probably shouldn't let him drive on his own for a while.
It is hard to watch his friends learn to drive.
Rebecca
