July 10, 2011

The depth of missing

As the months pass, I miss Lev more and more. So painful, so infuriatingly frustrating to never have him back.

When you feel sad, you cry. When you feel angry, you yell. When you miss someone...nothing to do but be consumed by the deep, vast yearning.

As time goes by, and the pain of missing Lev gets more intense, it might be harder and harder to feel these feelings without getting completely lost in them and going mad. So my mind would stop going there, and others would perceive this as "healing" or "moving on". This is like closing the door of a room that is on fire and declaring that the problem is solved.