August 26, 2010

Going insane

I can imagine going insane, creating a world where Lev is alive. The thought of me talking to him, while to others I just appeared to be talking to myself, is one of the saddest things I could imagine.

The crows are going crazy today. I see the crow spirit in Lev, and I see Lev in each crow. This gives me some comfort. When we went back to the campsite where Lev spent his last hours on earth, a crow was there eating some food the campers had left on the table. We saw Lev in that crow, cackling at us.